36 weeks {one more month to go!}.

This week really hit hard.  Monday was hard.  Tuesday was hard.  Today is hard.  

I'm tired (and yes, I'm well aware of the fact that I'll still be tired when the baby comes...).

BUT other than being tired and having some stiff leg issues, life is good!  Really truly.  Something I wrote in my personal journal explains a little bit about what I'm really feeling some days:

I've decided the one thing I haven't liked about being pregnant is the pessimism that many people tag onto their comments to pregnant women (which, they probably don't even know they're doing).  I think it's their way of finding a connection to me and the baby so they can be involved.  Which, in their defense, is actually a really nice thing for them to be doing.  They ask me how I'm doing and I'm honest and tell them I'm really actually feeling pretty great- not bad for being 36 weeks prego!  Then they just have to add the "just wait until..." comments.  Just wait until you're up doing 3 am feedings and you'll be wondering what you were doing wanting a baby.  Just wait until she's screaming and you can't handle it anymore.  Just wait, just wait, just wait.

When T and I started trying for a baby, we kinda knew what we were getting into.  I wanted to be up in the mornings with my baby feeding her.  I wanted her to be screaming so I could be the one to calm her down.  I want to be her mother and those are some things that mothers do.  I know several friends who would do anything to experience those moments as a mother.  Friends who have struggled with infertility and would gain 100 pounds and have a baby who wakes up every 30 minutes just in order to have a baby.  And they would be happy about it!  So why on earth would I not be happy to experience those things too?

I'm also just waiting for the peaceful moments, the carefree moments, and the one-on-one time with this little one before any of her siblings arrive.  I'm just waiting to see my adorable husband step into the shoes of fatherhood and rock his little girl to sleep (this is one that I just can't wait for!!).  Motherhood is and can be a beautiful thing and I would only hope that if you're a mother, you're one of the ones who is passing on the good things that come with motherhood.  Yes, I realize it's going to be hard.  I've had my share of moments of terror realizing what T and I have gotten ourselves into, but I also lay in bed with mine and T's hands on my pregnant belly and feel our daughter moving.  I feel excited and happy to meet her.

I want to be a mother who celebrates motherhood with her friends.  Not complains every time I'm with them.  Yes, I want to be able to express my frustrations that I'm sure will come with motherhood, but I want to celebrate the joys and wonder that I'm sure will also come!  

I'm not one for drama (as my second graders hear everyday at recess) and I don't even want to entertain the idea of the "Mommy Wars" that happen out there.  Every kid is different, just like every mother is different.  If there's one thing I could apply from teaching to motherhood, it's that every child learns differently, so it's okay for them to be raised differently.  So that's the mindset T and I are going to take and run with it.  Who cares if we make a mistake or two?  We'll learn and move on like everyone else.

So here's to being excited for parenthood!

T and I are incredibly excited to become parents!  We put the stroller and car seat together the other day and pulled out one of Baby Girl's new stuffed animals to practice belting into the carseat.  Hilarious.  Who knew figuring out a carseat would be so much fun?  We were both cracking up and ended up throwing the stuffed animal at each other.  We obviously should probably NOT do that with the real thing...

Our prenatal class last night was quite eventful.  We watched 4 birth videos that were all quite different.  2 of them were completely unrealistic to me due to the fact that the baby popped right out after just a couple of pushes and a couple hours of labor.  I mean, if that happened to me, then awesome!  I'll take it.  But really, I'm going into labor expecting 12-15 hours of labor, at least.  That way, if this Baby Girl decides to come out faster, I'll be a happy camper!

Baby Girl is still moving and grooving.  She's dropping a little (seeing as she's back on my bladder every now and then) and still loves having T talk to her and play with her.  

We had our showers last weekend and we were completely overwhelmed with the amount of generosity that came from people we love and admire.  Beautifully handcrafted blankets, minky blankets, clothes up the wazoo, some much needed practical and essential items, cash, relaxing essentials for this mama, and more were given to us.  One thing is for certain, this girl is going to be decked out in some stylin' clothes when she's a little older.  We're expecting she'll be sportin' simple onesies for quite a while in the beginning!

We just need to pick up a few last items and then we're set.  Hopefully... 

Here's to our Baby Girl- due exactly one month from today!